Chinese Version
01-13-2018

Today，my elementary friends Karen and Sarah celebrated my birthday with me. They asked about my mother’s condition as they knew my mother had had Alzheimer’s for a few years now and that I came back from China less than two weeks ago.

I told them that my mother was recovering slowly, and my aunt took very good care of my mother. I also told a story about my aunt’s dedication. My mother often had fecal incontinence for the past few years; every time she had an accidence, my aunt would immediately clean it with toilet paper and then use a hot wet towel to wipe it more clean, so my mothers’ skin was always dry and clean. Actually my aunt wiped my mother’s bottom body with a hot towel in the morning and in the evening daily. Therefore, my mother never had bedsores.

Chatting about my mother and Alzheimer’s also brought back memories of my recent trip back to China to visit my very ill mother.

In December 2017, when my mother was very ill, my brother called me: “Mommy is very ill, I asked Daddy about whether you come back now? Daddy didn’t say no, so I think it is time for you to come back now.” I bought a one-way ticket from San Francisco to Beijing , with sort of terrified feeling, because I suddenly remembered my maternal grandfather, who had passed away more than 40 years ago, which made me feel it was the call of our ancestors.

On December 14, 2017, I came back to my mother who did not open her mouth, could not swallow, and who always looked very tired with her eyes closed. I was very sad to see my mother in such a weak state in just a month, as she was normal on November 9 when I left her. For two weeks in December 2017, I watched my mother who under the care of my aunt, was recovering bit by bit, to the stage where she could swallow smooth food and could concentrate on watching TV cartoons.

After learning that her maternal grandmother was very ill, my daughter asked Mr. Soss, one of her teachers, who had taken care four elderly relatives with Alzheimer’s disease, for details of the late symptoms of the disease for me. As I am rational, the information given by my daughter helped me to make decision with a peaceful mind on a case which I had no prior experience regarding how seriously ill my mother who had Alzheimer’s was.

Watching my mother recovering slowly and seeing that she still refused to pee in a diaper, I felt my mother’s situation was very stable according to the details provided by my daughter’s teacher. After Christmas, I bought a one-way ticket back to San Jose, as my son who was in college has spent the Christmas home alone in San Jose.

In early 2018, my aunt told me that my mother had recovered very well, which reassured me! In December 13, 2017, the tangled journey of hurrying back to China and the United States finally came to a reassuring end. I was thankful for having my aunt taken care of my mother for many years now.

Now it seemed I made the right decision. Therefore, I would like to share the late changes of Alzheimer’s disease as observed by my daughter’s teacher as a way to spread this knowledge.

Little Episodes

1. Mr. Soss’s email forwarded by my daughter:

Hi Mommy,
Here is what Mr. Soss wrote about the end of Alzheimers, as he observed it with his parents:

What I observed was that near the end the more basic biological functions such as swallowing, breathing etc. that are controlled by the medulla oblongata begin to falter. The patient either can’t swallow at all (as in the case of my mother) or they tend to aspirate the food (i.e. goes into the lungs and not the stomach). It seems that the disease moves downward from the higher cognitive functions to the more primitive ones. In other words, you never have an Alzheimer patient who is conscious and aware, but is unable to swallow or control their bladder. If that is the case, then indeed the end is very close.

2. 11-30-2017 to 12-25-2017，My brother and I often chatted about the details of our mother’s health because we loved her very much.

3. 11-25-2017，My mother playing with my uncle.

4. 12-19-2017，My mother expressed her like of the photo I took for her with a thumbs-up sign.