Chinese Version
06-04-2021，Friday

I didn’t expect that I would talk about certain details regarding my mother’s 2018 death, details that only my little aunt and I would talk about.

On April 18, 2018, I bought a one-way flight ticket back to China, because my mother was very ill and she was getting weaker by the day.

Before I came back, my father had moved to another bedroom to sleep and my little aunt slept with my mother. Now, I slept with my mother every night. My mother had not eaten and lay quietly in bed for a few days. In those days, we turned her from one side to another side from time to time and smeared her dry lips with wet cotton balls.

May 2, 2018 was a Wednesday. After lunch, as usual, I went to my parents’ bedroom to sleep with my mother. I lay beside my mother and fell asleep quickly, then I heard my little aunt saying “Fifth older sister, you made a very big yawn. Do you want to sleep more?”

I turned over and said to my little aunt, “My mother needs to sleep more.”

After a while, I used my hand to touch my mother’s face and felt her face was very cold. I got up quickly and called my little aunt. My little aunt came to our bed and touched my mother’s hands and she also felt that my mother’s hands began to get cold. We quickly dressed our mother with the many layers of shrouds specially made for her. Then my little aunt carried my mother from bed to the chair in the living room and sat her down. Later, my little aunt said, “While carrying our fifth older sister, I usually felt she was very heavy. The last time I carried her from the bed to the chair, I felt our fifth older sister is so light.”

My little uncle called to inform my brother who was working in the office to come back quickly.

My dressed mother who sat on the chair in the living room was surrounded by my father, my little aunt, my little uncle and I. My father was anxiously taking her pulse. I held my mother’s hand in one hand and stroked her face with the other hand. My little aunt kept on telling my mother, “Fifth older sister, you have to wait until Lichuan comes back.”

My mother didn’t wait until her son came back. She passed away peacefully around people who loved her very much.

My little aunt said, “According to the custom of Zigong, the dying one has to sit up and ‘walk’ away. Lying in bed will make dying one ‘walk’ away very tired. Our fifth older sister was in sitting position to ‘walk’ away, so she was not tired.”

In the world, adults are used to fatigue. The concerns about leaving the world “not tired”, revealed the simple true love for the dead. Thinking of this, I am very grateful to my little aunt for taking very good care of my mother who had Alzheimer’s in recent years and also for caring about my mother’s passing away in a tireless way.

After accompanying my mother to die, I became less fearful of death and cherished loving relationships more.

Little Episodes

1. 10-30-2017，My mother and my little aunt walking together

2. 2017-05-06, My mother（10-25-1928 to 05-02-2018）