For three weeks, my nest is empty once again. My mood now is completely different from when my children were studying in Europe. At that time, I was filled with worry, now I am filled with peace.

I have time to savor home slowly. I think a warm home can really make life full of sunshine.

This February, my beloved second aunt, my father’s little sister, passed away. I realized my pain while paying my tribute to her while far away from her. She, the last parent-generation relative who cared, loved, and watched my brother and I grow up, is gone, and there is no more such relative who remembers our childhood stories. The end of her life is also the ending of some stories of life, which is painful…

Letting go of the pain, thinking that although my parents have passed away for many years, my brother and I can chat about our dear parents and relatives in heaven and talk about our hometown and the relatives and friends there, those chats warm my heart! I am grateful to my parents for showing us the warmth of home throughout their lives, so that my brother and I can always talk about trivial matters across the ocean and understand each other and encourage each other.

After my brother encouraged me to create a channel to publish my short videos, whenever his friends praised my short videos, my brother would forward the chat records to me in time. My original intention of making short videos was to help my brother and sister-in-law’s business, after some time, I started to entertain myself by telling stories in my heart, which I enjoyed a lot; the pleasure of bringing entertainment to others through my short videos is an unexpected enjoyment to me. This is the feeling of human love, floating and flowing warmly in the world by words, by messages, and by short videos.

Last night, while chatting with my daughter on the phone, I heard an interesting story about my little grandson, Ben. After his one and half year old little sister tore off the duck attached to the head of her plush toy, she was very upset but was not able to express it in words.

Ben saw his sister was upset and said to his mother: “Use tape (to stick the duck back)!” When I heard it, I laughed and replied: “He really is your son! He already knows the power of tape.” My daughter also knew early on that tape can repair walls, fix books, and things, which made me very proud, as when I was a child, I did not known about tape. Until one day, my daughter told me sadly that the tape failed to fix the fallen hem of her skirt.

Her words made I felt sad and regretful because when I was my daughter’s age, I liked knitting, crocheting, cross-stitching, embroidery and other handicrafts. I remember that my father bought a shed and special needles from Chengdu for me to do embroidery; but my daughter has never seen me do any needlework, because I was busy working and never had the time. This is a glimpse of the tiredness of the first generation immigrant working mothers. After that incident, I began to consciously let my daughter and son see or enjoy me needlework (my daughter learned mending when she was a graduate student, but my son never learned it). I felt at ease knowing that I had tried my best. The three circles in the photo are three embroidery sheds of different sizes.

My daughter also told me on the phone that people praised the trousers I made for Ben using the two long sleeves of an old sweatshirt. I was very happy that my daughter could chat with me about trivial family matters in an interesting way.

Before my mother had Alzheimer’s disease, she often talked about her needlework on the phone, such as altering a piece of clothing or mending an apron. Unfortunately, at that time I was too busy with work and housework and didn’t have the energy to praise my mother.

My daughter also asked me if I had a good dinner last night. This is because I told her the day before yesterday that her brother and sister-in-law would come to dinner on Saturday. I told my daughter that on Saturday morning, Shan (daughter-in-law) said she wanted to eat porridge, but didn’t say what kind of porridge; I cooked three kinds of porridge: millet and pumpkin porridge (millet itself needs to be cooked for two hours), rice and sweet potato porridge (add sweet potato and cook for another hour after the rice blooms in the pot), and rice, glutinous rice and green bean porridge (these three things are soaked in water for a few hours and then put into the pot with cold water to start stew). After hearing this, my daughter praised me. I told her that I made two versions of twice-cooked pork: one that her brother liked, and one with garlic sprouts and steamed bread slices, fried a plate of carrots, lettuce and pumpkin cubes and a plate of broccoli, and boiled a lotus root soup.

There are people to eat, people to listen, and many pots to clean, this is a great joy that only chefs can enjoy.

When I was cooking the sweet potato porridge on Saturday, I suddenly remembered my tiredness of working in the past. There was a period of time I wanted to eat sweet potato porridge and knew how to cook it, but I didn’t have the time or energy to make it. I often went to the deli next to the Chinese supermarket and paid three dollars to buy a cup of very watery sweet potato porridge. At that time, I said to myself: “When I have lots of free time, I will cook a big pot of sweet potato porridge and eat it slowly.” After I became free, my desire to eat sweet potato porridge faded, so I still haven’t cooked a big pot of sweet potato porridge for myself to eat slowly. Today, as I cooked sweet potato porridge for my daughter-in-law, I felt very happy after thinking of this past, because I finally had time to cook sweet potato porridge and eat it slowly.

It is very nourishing to savor the taste of home in my spare time, in my temporarily empty nest.

Today is Labor Day and the whole country is on holiday，as am I. At home, watching grey green leaves of lavender, using one hand to gently rub them to collect the incense on my hand, and smelling my hand with the calming lavender incense relaxed my mind and I started to think about trivial things in heaven and on earth.

I found it was very relaxing and pleasant to flow in the long memory stream of my late parents, as I recalled the stories and love they left behind without any substantial duties.

After retiring, my mother and father had very different hobbies: my father liked reading and writing, and my mother liked watching TV. As I saw her watching TV so often, I chatted with my daughter about this many times: “Your grandmother didn’t like reading after retirement, but liked watching TV.” After hearing this enough times, my daughter said: “Could grandma’s Alzheimer’s disease be related to her lifestyle of not reading after retirement?” I said: “We hadn’t heard of Alzheimer’s disease at that time (mid-1980s).”

The first time I heard about Alzheimer’s disease was in the United States in the early 1990′s. When I read that excessive aluminum intake may lead to Alzheimer’s disease and that using aluminum cookware daily brings aluminum into food, I thought of my parents at home using aluminum pots to steam rice, boil water, and cook soup, so I wrote a letter to tell them to get rid of the aluminum pots and basins in order to prevent Alzheimer’s disease. Then my brother wrote back: “Your letter worked, as Mom and Dad finally get rid of all the aluminum cookwares now, although we have said it many times earlier without success.” I think that this is an example of elderly and stubborn parents who are more likely to accept the same suggestion from different children. Actually, I am also more likely to accept the same suggestion when it comes from both my daughter and my son, which is why sometimes my daughter asks her younger brother to chat with me about things on the side. I fell lucky to have two children!

After my mother retired, she not only liked watching TV but also liked learning health related new knowledge. However, there were no such books for sale in Xinhua Bookstore in my hometown Zigong, and the library was not open to the public there. My mother learned bits and pieces of knowledge from the newspapers she subscribed to. She cut out health-related articles and collected them into a book to review and share. After I started graduate school in the United States, my mother attached a newspaper clipping about eye exercise in a letter from home and wrote: “You will use your eyes a lots in your studies now, so you need to pay attention to protecting your eyes. I am sending this article about simple eye exercises. You can try it out.” My habit of rolling my eyeballs in the morning and evening came from that small newspaper clipping, because it carried my mother’s thoughtful love from afar.

Later, when I heard that a neighbor was experiencing Ocular Hypertension, I also recommended the same rolling eyes exercises, which didn’t work, because simple preventive exercises need to be practiced over time to take effect. After my son went to college, he spent longer hours on the computer, and he sometimes said that his eyes were tired. I told him to take a break from the computer screen every hour to rest his eyes and to look far and green leaves outside; I also told him to spend one or two minutes every morning and evening to roll his eyeballs, which can strengthen the muscles around the eyes over time. Passing on the healthy tips my mother taught me is the joy of having children.

My daughter reminded me a few weeks ago: “You should pay attention to oral hygiene and avoid having bad breath like grandma used to.” My daughter’s care for my oral hygiene reminded me of my caring for my mother’s bad breath many years ago. After graduating from college started my first job as a high school teacher in middle 1980′s, I bought a bottle of mouthwash for my mother to help with her bad breath. My mother said that she felt the water was burning in her mouth, but it didn’t help her bad breath. The caring of mother’s oral hygiene in two generations of daughters in my family also shows the joy of having children.

Labor Day is a day to labor, I labored in thinking that the joy of having children is a way of conveying the love in heaven and on earth, which made the world lovely and lovable.

Last night, I went to the monthly neighborhood meeting organized by Victoria，one of my neighbors.

Victoria prepared the agenda for the meeting. In addition to residents, local officials will also attend the meeting. Because many residents only speak Spanish, and officials mostly speak English, and I don’t understand Spanish at all, Victoria naturally became a bilingual translator. She translated Spanish into English and English into Spanish to facilitate communication and understanding among attendees. Later in the meeting, District 7 Councilor Bien stood next to Victoria and praised her many times: “You did an awesome job translating!”

Families Children Services

Before the meeting, during the self-introduction phase, the lady who sat next to Victoria said that she came from the county to serve families and children. I wanted to listen to her speech because I thought we (people with families and children) are her service targets. She did not speak during the meeting, so I looked for her after the meeting to learn about her work . I saw her standing and chatting with an African American lady and went over to ask her: “You said you provide services for families and children. What department are you in?” She replied: “Oh, I’m in the County Department of Family Children Services.” I asked again: “I have two grandchildren. What kind of services can you provide for us?” She said: “We provide services to protect children from abuse and neglect, to ensure that no child is left behind.” I nodded and thanked her by saying: “Thank you for your explanation. Now I know it provides services for children in special cases.” I immediately apologized to the African American lady standing next to me, “I’m sorry, I interrupted your conversation because I want to know more about family and children services I just heard tonight.” She smiled and said, “It’s okay. We are colleagues. I’m glad to see that you are interested in our services.” I said, “I’m also glad to hear that the government has such a service to care for children in our community.” Then, we exchanged names and family situations to extend our conversation. I’m Jean, and I have two grandchildren; Lina, who is of Burmese descent, has two children; Sinora, Lina’s African American colleague, has three grandchildren. They all grew up and work in California. After hearing their introductions, I guess that mothers or grandmothers who are working in the Department of Family Children Services would be easier to put themselves in the shoes of children in special cases, and perhaps provide more appropriate services for children in need. We talked about the responsibilities of taking care of children and grandchildren and some other things. I suggested taking a photo together and they both agreed.

After taking the photo, we exchanged contact information and I said to them: “I like to write stories about meeting new people and I am very happy to meet you at tonight’s meeting. I will write a story about tonight’s event and share it with you.” I also told them that the services they provide to our community make me happy as it shows our government really cares about children.

The residents’ meeting was rich in content and I felt deeply about a few of them.

Dumpster Day

One of the main topics in the meeting is planning the next “Dumpster Day” event. Before 2017, I lived in Almaden Valley in San Jose and enjoyed the convenience brought by “Dumpster Day” many times, so I like this event very much. Listening to residents and officials discussing: Where to park the garbage trucks? If there are not enough parking spaces where the garbage trucks are located, residents will spend a lot of time in the car lining up on the road to get closer to dump their junk into the truck, which means this event might cause nearby traffic jams. How to notify all the neighbors of this event? If the notification didn’t reach everyone ahead of time, the prepared garbage trucks could not be filled up which will be a waste of resources. How to prevent residents from piling up junk on the roadside instead of sending it to the garbage trucks? … I only now know that scheduling a “Dumpster Day” event is a big project involving both the government and the public.

Closing Schools

Alum Rock School District superintendent Manny addressed residents’ concerns about the District’s plan to close nine schools this year. Here are some Q&A I heard:
Q-Why do you want to close schools?
A-The government funds schools based on the student enrollments. In the past decade, the student enrollments in our school district dropped sharply, the funds received by schools also dropped sharply, but the cost of maintaining school buildings did not change, so some schools need to be closed to reduce maintenance costs.
Q-Why is student enrollments decreasing?
A-Because the birth rate is declining, high housing prices have prevented young families from settling here, and there is competition from charter and private schools.
Q-How to decide which nine schools to close?
A-The school district will set up an organizing committee, including principals of schools in the district, representatives of the Parent Teacher Association (PTA), and representatives of four neighborhood committees. Your neighborhood committee can also apply to be a representative.

Concerns

Lieutenant Jesse, Foothill Division Commander of the San Jose Police Department, also came. He said, “Nancy Pelosi is coming to San Jose tonight. Many of my people are there now, and I will go there soon. Before I leave, do you have any concerns to tell me? ” Someone said: “I have noticed that there have been more graffiti on the wall and road signs in recent weeks.” Jess said, “Please use the 311 App to report the graffiti, and someone will handle these issues.” I am very happy that our area didn’t have concerns which needed the police chief’s immediate attention.

Beautify San Jose

Regarding graffiti, Tara, from the San Jose Mayor’s office, said that she and Victoria worked together to invite painters to paint beautiful pictures on the high wall next to the newly constructed children’s playground through the “Beautify San Jose” project:

Once I heard conversation about the children’s playground, I immediately raised my hand to say: “I hope to install a sunshade tent for the children’s playground so that children can play under the hot sun and utilize the playground fully.” Because I often took my grandchildren there to play, I noticed that the slides are too hot to play in the daytime on sunny day as they are exposed to the sun directly. This is a scene of I played with my granddaughter in the shade under the slides in the playground:

Someone also suggested that it would be safer at night by installing lights in the children’s playground. Someone followed the subject of night to say: “While driving at night, I saw more pedestrians wearing dark clothes crossing the road, it is very unsafe. Why was the law of ‘jaywalking is illegal’ repealed?” The official replied: “In over 20 years of relevant work experience, no pedestrians have ever crossed the road and been hit by cars. Pedestrians should be able to cross the road where they feel it is safe.”

Install a Speed Bump

An official also shared a case: “A neighbor suggested adding a speed bump on a section of the road where the speed is too fast. This is a good suggestion, but it will take a lot of time to implement. First, the relevant department needs to accept this request, then the task of installing a speed monitor equipment can be scheduled, and the actual installation will be much later. After the installation is done and the data is collected, the relevant department will analyze the data to see whether the conditions of adding a speed bump are met. If the conditions are met based on the data, then the relevant department will schedule and perform the task of adding a speed bump.”

This was my first time listening closely to the conversation between local officials and residents, after living more than 30 years in the United States. Not only did I learn a lot of knowledge which I had never been exposed to, but I also felt the people-friendly style of local government officials in the United States, which I felt grateful for. I hope more residents will come to attend this meeting in the future!

The photos from Monday’s residents’ meeting:

In the past, when we mentioned “Waipo (grandma)” at home, we knew it was referring to my mother.

After hearing from me that his granddaughter was pregnant, my father immediately said to me: “Congratulations on becoming a Waipo.” I still remember my father’s joyful voice.

Now, I became a Waipo.

Although my grandson is a long way from calling me Waipo, my daughter already calls me Waipo now. Hearing “Waipo”, my new title, I felt some sadness: my daughter is a mother, I am really old; I also experienced joy: like my mother, I became a Waipo now.

My mother always paid great attention to health-related things. In the 1990s, there was no internet, so newspapers were the only source of news for ordinary people, and overseas letters were the only form of communication between my parents in China and myself in the USA. My mother often sent newspaper clippings about health in her letters to me to remind me to pay attention to my health. I clearly remember the first time I read “sub-health” from a newspaper clipping sent to me in one of my parents’ oversee letters, my mother just became a Waipo and I was still working on my PhD studyies.

In 2017, my daughter was already in her 20s: “Today, I talked with my daughter who was jet lagged in Germany for a long time. I told her that all the letters sent by her Waipo to me in the USA always reminded me to take care of my health many years ago. In the early 1990s, the Internet was not common, and there were still great differences between China and the United States, your Waipo couldn’t guide my way in my life, but her exhortation to take care of my body has blessed me to this day. I told my daughter again, now I also am carrying Waipo’s spirit. Every time I chat with you, I remind you to take care of your health. Hope this won’t be annoying to you. ”

In 2022, after my mother passed away for more than three years, I became a Waipo. As a Waipo, carrying on my mother’s spirit, I am recording and sharing of a grandma’s “Old-talking” about health. However, the massive on-line information at the lift of my finger, I think i am sharing of grandma’s “New-talking” about health.

Diet during Confinement after Giving Birth

I have been trying to encourage my daughter to have traditional Chinese diet during her confinement after giving birth, such as drinking old-hen soup and eating sesame oil fried meat, but she refused to follow my suggestion. To find allies to support my advice, I consulted a medical expert, but the expert didn’t think a special richer diet is necessary during confinement. I also asked one of my alumina who became a mother recently about her Chinese dishes during her confinement, she shared a photo of her dishes and told me that the dishes during her confinement were really ordinary. The expert and the new mother became my daughter’s allies instead of mine.

Now I don’t make special food during my daughter’s confinement after giving birth.

New Born Baby and Furry Pets

I remembered one of my friend said: “I had a cat I gave away before my son was born, as I was afraid of my son will allergy to the fur.” Because I was little worried Kara may cause our baby’s allergy, I researched online and found a 2017 study “employed a large subsample of 746 infants from the Canadian Healthy Infant Longitudinal Development Study (CHILD) cohort, whose mothers were enrolled during pregnancy between 2009 and 2012. Participating mothers were asked to report on household pet ownership at recruitment during the second or third trimester and 3 months postpartum.” This study concluded that “The impact of pet ownership varies under different birth scenarios; however, in common, exposure to pets increased the abundance of two bacteria, Ruminococcus and Oscillospira, which have been negatively associated with childhood atopy and obesity.”

Some parents also shared that their pediatricians say babies who live with pets have a lower chance of being allergic to pets.

Back to our Kara, hearing baby crying the first time, she was very curious and rushed to the site to watch the baby. After that, baby’s crying no longer interested her, and Kara stays in her own comfortable zone, never even bothering with the baby.

Now I learnt that a new born baby living under the same roof as a dog or cat is fine.

Little Episodes

1. 01-02-2022, CZ, one of my alumina showed the only photo of the dishes in her confinement after giving birth and said the dishes were really ordinary.

2. 2017′s study of “furry pets influences the gut microbiota of infants” origin and screen shot: