Today, on a rainy summer Sunday, while buying summer flowers, I thought about how “life be beautiful like summer flowers” from the Indian poet Tagore (1861-1941).

I bought a bunch of colorful flowers: red roses and carnations, purple, yellow and white chrysanthemums. Although it was in Massachusetts with four distinct seasons, “cold resistant” Autumn chrysanthemums were in full bloom in summer, which made me realize that greenhouses had made seasonal flowers lose their concept of the seasons.

Looking at the beautiful chrysanthemums in their simply layered petals and their many layers of gorgeous curved petals, I remember Chengdu, the place where I saw the most varieties of chrysanthemums in my life. While attending college in Chengdu in the 1980′s for four years, I took buses from Sichuan Normal University to Chengdu People’s Park to watch the Chrysanthemum Exhibition in October.

I like chrysanthemums, because my mother liked chrysanthemums. Then I thought of my unique experience with buying chrysanthemums for my mother who loved flowers very much in the past.

In the last few years, I often ordered flowers online as birthday or special day gifts for my parents, as I had more free time to appreciate their love from far away. Every time after receiving the flowers, my mother would happily describe to me how beautiful and charming the flowers were, in our small talks which crossed the ocean. The flowers I ordered online were mostly lilies, orchids, carnations, roses, etc.

In 2011, while staying with my parents in Beijing, I saw huge beautiful white chrysanthemums in a flower shop one day, I bought a few of them to give to my mother. I thought my mother would be happy to see such beautiful chrysanthemums. However, I was surprised to see her slightly unhappy expression when she saw the white chrysanthemums at first sight. I knew I did something wrong, but I was not sure what. I didn’t ask my mother why she was unhappy and my mother didn’t say a thing about it either. Still, I was ofent puzzled about it in my mind.

A few years later, my friend Yang and I chatted about our mother and I told her the story of how my mother was unhappy to see white chrysanthemums I gave to her. After hearing my story, Yang said, “Miss, do you not know that white chrysanthemums can’t be used as a regular gift to people in Chinese culture?”

After that, I studied online and found: “White chrysanthemum has the meaning of mourning and remembering the dead in Chinese culture. It is suitable for funeral, worship and tomb sweeping. It is not suitable as a regular gift.”

My ignorance of sending white chrysanthemums that made my mother unhappy was a memorable episode. While telling my daughter the story of “I once gave your grandmother a bunch of white chrysanthemums”, I added, “I have no taboo feelings towards flowers, only sweet feelings.”

Little Episodes

1. Famous pome about chrysanthemums
《吟菊》
唐 白居易（772－846）

一夜新霜著瓦轻，芭蕉新折败荷倾。
耐寒唯有东篱菊，金粟初开晓更清。

Night frost attached to the roof tile, the banana and lotus were frosted too.
Only chrysanthemums are cold resistant, they blooming in the morning fresh the air.

2. I translated “Summer Flowers” by Tagoreinto Chinese in the way I felt。
Thanks to my late mother who passed to me the trait of “Love years stationed in the belief。”

I hear love, I believe in love
Love is a pool of struggling blue-green algae
As desolate micro-burst of wind
Bleeding through my veins
Years stationed in the belief
我倾听爱，我相信爱
爱是一池挣扎的蓝藻
似阵阵微风
吹拂我的血脉
信念经年不变

Ruth, the veterinarian of Kara (our cat Princess), is an Israeli poet. Ruth said that she had a talent for writing poetry ever since she was a child. She also told me that poems should be read slowly to sip and taste the beauty of every word in the poem.

In January, when I went to her clinic to buy prescription cat food for Kara, I bought one of her poetry collection books called Cyclamen, I asked her to read me a poem on her book, and also asked her to sign her book for me.

Ruth thought for a moment and wrote for me: “To Jing, To never ending end. Ruth M 01-20-21″

I asked curiously, “What does ‘To never ending end’ mean?”

Ruth said, “Our life will end, and the written words can last forever. We can make life ‘never end’ by writing the stories of life. For example, this collection of poems is dedicated to Jacky, my son’s elementary school teacher who died young.”

After listening to Ruth’s explanation, I understand that “to never ending end” means “without ending”. Ruth’s words: “We can make life ‘never end’ by written the stories of life” stayed with me.

At the end of February, Zhenzhen, one of my high school best friends, mentioned her childhood neighbor friend Xia Ruiqiu in our online chatting group. I immediately remembered Xia Ruiqiu, because she was my classmate in Zigong No. 1 middle school. I remembered she was pretty with sweet smiles.

Thinking of the past in 2011, while preparing for our 30 years high school graduation reunion, Zhenzhen searched and found me who had lost contact with her for more than 20 years and invited me into our high school online chatting group, I wanted to help Zhenzhen find Ruiqiu. I thought it would be a happy story and I would find a long lost friend for Zhenzhen who was far away in Australia, just as Zhenzhen found me nine years ago.

I learned from one of my friends graduated from Zigong No. 1 middle school in Beijing that Ruiqiu became a teacher in a university in Chengdu after graduating from college. Then I reached out to one of my old colleagues in Shuguang middle school back in 1980s, because she is a professor in the same university as Ruiqiu is now. After a long search, my old colleague told me that Xia Ruiqiu committed suicide after a heartbreaking love in 1988.

When Zhenzhen heard this sad news, she sighed, “It is very sad to hear this. She was very smart. She started to swim in elementary school and has excellent physical coordination. I could not imagine her dying in this way!! ”

After learning the news, the friend in Beijing said, “She is introverted… It’s sad! In fact, first love is not necessarily the best! Many young people don’t understand… ”

Although the news was more than 30 years late, I felt that my classmate died so young was just like a flower that had faded before blossoming. I felt very sad and thought for a long time. The catchy “Liberty and love, These two I must have. For my love I’ll sacrifice, My life. For liberty I’ll sacrifice My love. by Sandor Petofi” in the 1980s, has not been questioned, and may have misled some pure souls…

Life is the most precious thing. “We can make life ‘never end’ by writing the stories of life. ”

May Ruiqiu find true love in heaven.

Little Episodes

1. “Cyclamen” poem collection book signed by Ruth, the poet：

2. Our princess Kara is looking at the rain outside the window.

3. “Liberty and love!” by Hungary poet Sandor Petofi

Liberty and love,
These two I must have.
For my love I’ll sacrifice,
My life.
For liberty I’ll sacrifice
My love.